I missed you too

I missed you tooI missed you.

It was the best she ever looked. She was determined to fix everything today. Her flowing hair shining like gold fluttered through the breeze. Once again she looked at her cellphone mirror. “Perfect. He would love to see me.” She said to herself.

It was a bright day, full of sunshine. As she walked by the corner of the main market road, her eyes followed her image reflecting in the huge front glasses of the shops. “He still loves me like old days. We will be together now.” She couldn’t resist talking to herself.

After a long walk along the market main road, the residential area was in sight. She took a deep breath to prepare herself once again. She felt even more confident causing her to speed up. The white castle was now just a few steps away.

It was a small bungalow painted pure white. When sun gazed at it in broad daylight, it shined like a dazzling white monument surrounded by lifeless stones. She crossed the gate and walked inside into the main hall.

He was sitting in a corner on a wooden chair with a small table in front of him. There was a glass chess on the top of the table and it seemed like the game was at full swing. He was in deep thought thinking about the next move and didn’t notice her arrival.

She quietly walked towards him and sat on the empty chair opposite to him. He was still immersed in the game looking into the emptiness. Something clicked and he rose his head with a huge smile. “Check & mate.” he cheerfully declared. His eyes were shining like he has won the world.

She looked at him & smiled. His happiness made her happy. His joy made her cheerful. For a while, she forgot why she was here and felt the moment. He won. She felt as if she had won too.

She waited for a few seconds as he settled down. As he rose his head, he finally noticed her. Along with the smile, a tear came rolling down his cheek. He was speechless. She was as beautiful as she had always been.

He rose up from his chair and moved towards her. She rose up too. He hugged her so tightly as if this moment was going to last forever. It was what they both always wanted, to be together.

A loud voice startled them both. “How dare you?” A huge man appeared from the inner house with an angry face. “Get out now, or I will call the police.”

He froze and felt helpless loosening his arms around her. But she was determined today. While she held his hand, her other hand slowly slipped into her purse which was hanging on her shoulder and she grabbed something. A loud sound, and the man was lying on the floor, surrounded by his own blood. “It ends today” She murmered.

She turned back to see him horrified. “It’s over. No one is going to hurt us anymore. We will go far away from all this. I missed you so much.” As he looked in shock, she slipped her gun back into her handbag and started walking towards the door still holding his hand.

 

 

“I missed you too, Mom” he finally said and followed her out while looking back at his father’s motionless body. The headline of a local newspaper kept on the center table loudly read “Mentally unstable wife accuses husband of child abuse, escapes from asylum.”

Togetherness without being together

We have fun loving people all around us, but very few of them love people more than fun, and that makes all the difference.

I always wonder the meaning of being together. Is it about being able to look at each other, talk or even touch each other? Save the “touch” part, looking and talking is now-a-days possible no matter you are physical near to each other or not, thanks to the technology in the form of Skype or Hangout.

But, I believe that being together is much more than this. It is when we are together even if we are unable to hug, see, hear, or touch the other person. It is when our hearts are together, our heartbeats are in sync even if we are away, our memories make us feel as if we are still next to each other. This, I believe, is true togetherness.

Usually, in one’s life, family and close friends are the main source of strength and motivation. I am no different. Even while living at different places, unable to meet many of them for months, even years, we are still together. Many times, when I felt low, they inspired me, took my hand and made me stand up to the challenges of life.

Once I was unable to visit my home for 8 long months. I was working thousands of kilometers away from my home while also preparing for MBA entrance exam. Sometimes it became very hectic but my family stood together and kept me going, even though they were so far away from me.

My closest friend lives in my hometown and we are friends from our school time. We rarely chat on line and once in a while on phone. Even then, when we meet even after long duration of time, we feel as if we are meeting each other every day for the last so many years. The bond is unaffected by distance because it is nurtured by love and care.

When I was in Hyderabad, working in a very hectic job on weekdays, preparing for CAT on weekends with no time to spare for roaming around or parties, my roommates helped me out in every possible way. Even away from home, with them I found a new home. I feel lucky to be there, together with them at that time. Sometimes I felt as if they were more worried about my exam than I was. And it all worked out pretty well.

Love and care are the main ingredients of togetherness, mixed with goodness of heart. In the absence of these ingredients, there is no meaning of being with someone. It is as if one is alone even when surrounded by crowd. We have fun loving people all around us, but very few of them love people more than fun, and that makes all the difference.

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All I want to say is Good-Bye

I was standing at the gate, still savoring her last glimpse as she looked at me. Atleast I wanted a “good bye”. A very long one, almost never ending. But she quietly, coldly turned back and closed the door.

And I was still standing there, without any thought, almost numb. I never imagined that it all would end this way.

———————————-

Not so long ago, just about 4 years ago, I met her in this very beautiful flower shop. Every week I used to stop by the shop to buy flowers for my aunt. My aunt was in hospital and I visited her every Saturday.

Now this beautiful girl at the flower shop was very mysterious. Her eyes were so deep that I felt mesmerized just by looking into them. I do not stare at women. But she was no ordinary woman.

“Excuse me! You want something.” She was looking at me with an undecipherable expression.

Embarrassed, I found myself still staring her eyes.

“Uh.. Umm.. Yeah.. I need a bunch of roses. The yellow ones. It’s for my aunt. She is not well.” I blurted a few words while looking away from her.

I felt like a fool. Partly because I was embarrassed and partly because I blurted out that I am not buying flowers for any other girl. I was evidently hitting on her.

She smiled. I again forgot everything. She was just so pretty. She added a very beautiful lily to the bunch and told me that it was complimentary. I walked away quietly. I could not stop thinking about her whole night.

My frequency of visiting my aunt increased from once a week to 3-4 times a week. And I started buying even more variety of flowers.

One year was gone. My aunt was discharged from the hospital. But I was still buying flowers. The beautiful girl from the flower shop was sitting next to me on the beach at the sunset point. Her name was Lily. She spoke very less. It took me a long time to ask her out for a date. She was not very open to aspirations. She did not dream much. Only thing she liked was flowers. That’s why she worked at the flower shop.

In my 3 years of going out with her, I could not find much about her. But this made me love her even more. We never kissed or hugged. Did not even speak much. The joy was in being together. It seemed that she was saying hundred stories with her eyes without even speaking a word.

I loved this. I loved everything about her. May be this was the platonic love described by philosophers and hardly experienced by people in real life. But I was feeling it. It was love without any desire. It was love in its purest form.

One day, I decided to find a way to be with her forever. I proposed her for marriage. It was a beautiful proposal with lots of flowers. She didn’t speak a word. I could not make out whether she was happy or sad. She simply walked away.

Next day, when I stopped by the flower shop, she was gone. She left a message. It was the first time ever when she actually expressed what she felt. The letter said, “Our love is so pure that it fills me with forever happiness. Though I wish we could be together forever.”

I was speechless. On one side, I was happy because she finally accepted that she loved me. And on the other side, we were not together anymore. We were apart forever.

I could not accept it. I found out where she lived and went there. She came out of her house as if she knew that I would come. She was not smiling. I could feel the emptiness in her eyes. But she was still calm, as if she was trained for this. She came to me, kissed on my cheek & went back inside.

———————————-

I was still standing there. There was no good bye. As if the kiss closed the platonic relationship we shared.

With heavy steps, I walked back home. I did not want to hurt her. If she wants so, I will never bother her again.

———————————-

One month later, it was 3 in the morning and I was in bed.

A loud thud in my living room startled me. In no time, 7-8 men in armored suits were surrounding my bed with automatic lethal weapons pointing at me. I could feel the laser pointers at my forehead.

I was picked up from my home, beaten up badly and repeatedly asked for my terrorist friends. I was clueless. Then they showed me a video clip of a very crowded railway station where a girl detonated a bomb killing herself along with dozens of people. She was Lily. She was gone.

They showed me videos of me hanging out with her. They were sure that it was impossible for me not to know about her intentions after spending 3 years with her.

I was speechless. For a moment I forgot about what was right or wrong. The symbol of such purity cannot be evil. May be someone tricked her or whatever. I did not want to think about it. Only thing I knew was our love.

———————————-

My ‘now healthy’ aunt sometimes visits me with bunch of yellow roses. It reminds me the time I spent with Lily. Our platonic love is immortal. I still love her and it gets even more every day.

Born again with love..

It was again a Friday. She was as excited as she used to be on any other Friday. “He is mine for these two days now.” She exclaimed within.

He was a busy but very loving man. On weekdays, he could hardly find time to sit with her or even talk except the daily routine of getting up early, eating, going to office, coming back late at night and going to bed to get up early again on the very next day. But he always kept his weekends totally free for her, for she was the most beautiful and precious gift he got from life.

It was another such weekend going to start. It was still Friday evening and she was waiting for him impatiently. Meanwhile, she was rearranging the house even after already doing it so many times. Dinner was almost ready and she too.

When she found it impossible to bear the anxiety, she drank a glass of water and sat on the living room sofa, thinking about the day when she first met him.

He was an adorable guy with good manners. A responsible look gave weight to his personality. They both were in a conference about sustainable development with renewable resources, both being very much interested in these social works.

They attracted each other like a magnet and by evening, they were two really close friends. Within a few months, they started liking each other more than ever. They fell in love.

And today, after 6 years of happy married life, she still feels they met just a day ago. “Why this love is never ending, never fading? Why I still wait for him as I used to so many years ago? It’s because our love is divine.” She couldn’t help but smile.

She remembered the day when they went for a vacation and were relaxing on a beach, when he gifted her, a diamond pendant, which she vowed to wear forever. She tickled the pendant around her neck and felt the love flowing out of it.

She loved his habit of creating sweet memories of everything. He kept them as collectibles in his heart. May be that’s why his heart was so full of love. She felt herself to be the luckiest girl in the world to be able to feel and get love to such an extent possible.

When she was in school, she couldn’t imagine love more than a boyfriend riding on a bike with his girlfriend, going out to discs, eating chocolates and stealing kisses under the moon. But when he came in her life, she felt like she was born again. Born with so much love.

He made her understand the true meaning of love of how it is about being a family. Love is all about being together accepting and loving each other in every possible way. Love is about shedding ego and to feel delighted even when acting like a fool, just to make happy the person you love. Love is not about loving and caring just each other, but it is about loving all the people who are part of our lives.

She remembered all her birthdays and the way he kept giving her surprise gifts whole day long. She could not think of anything she wanted and she couldn’t get from him. This satisfaction was the utmost joy of life and she felt lucky to have it.

A knock on the door took her out of her memory world and she jumped with excitement. Finally, he is home. She ran towards the door and stopped there to ensure once again that she was looking the best she can. Then she slowly, nicely opened the door, ready for the big hug she was going to get from the world’s most loving person.

Her eyes closed with joy.

………….

She burst into tears. She cried just like she did on every Friday for the last 2 years. He was never going to come back. God called him back, may be due to shortage of love in heaven. And she couldn’t do anything, but wait, for God may return him to her.

She still loves him as she did 2 years ago, and will be the same forever. She kissed the diamond pendant, closed the door and quietly got back inside.

In love, its never too late, or is it?

“I should tell her now. But, she knows it all. Then why she does not show it up. I know she loves me. I will tell her today. For sure.

But, what if she gets angry? What if she doesn’t love me? What if she stops talking to me? I cannot live without talking to her.

Oh God, what should I do? Show me a way.”

This was his daily conversation with God. It seemed God was enjoying watching him fighting with himself. May be it was the way of God to tell him that everything happens for good.

When Arjun returned from Bangalore to Delhi after a 2 weeks business trip, he was in no mood to first report at office after his flight landed. After all, it’s a weekend, and who goes to office on Saturday evening? But, sometimes there is something waiting for us somewhere and situations turn themselves in our favor so that we can get what is for us.

After he landed in Delhi, when he switched on his phone, he got a lot of pending messages delivered (bombarded) to him. Most were the status messages about his latest project. Just checking the subjects, he was stuck at one message. “Courier Delivered”. It took him some time to remember that he ordered something for his girl. As he was out of the city, he gave the address of his office. Now finally, the gift had arrived. He had no reason to go home now. He had to go to his office. “Two tasks done in one go”, he said to himself.

While sitting in the cab, he started remembering the events of a month back. He got an offer to go to California for a two year project, a big one. He was waiting for this opportunity for a long time, but finally when he got it, he was not happy. He didn’t go to office the following day. Manager called him, but he didn’t pick the phone. Next day, he went to his manager and declined the offer. No one could see the reason for his foolish act, but in his heart, he knew he did the right thing. How can he go leaving her alone in this bad world? But his manager was a man of patience and wisdom. He understood the reason and gave him a month to decide. Meanwhile he got this trip to Bangalore, and now today, he is back.

While sneaking outside the cab window, he got a glimpse of Qutub Minar. “Ahh! My first date was here,“ he told to himself. “What a great time I spent here with her.” It was the time when he got promoted and was informed about a new girl who was going to report to him. He was too much sincere with his work, so much that in no way his professional life could cross his personal one. Then what happened to him so that he declined a lifetime opportunity?

The reason was her. Her name was Payal. In the last one year, she became his best friend with whom he shared almost everything. They used to hang out together, work together, enjoyed all the happy moments of life, and shared the sad things. These kinds of relationships cannot remain unnamed for a long time, and it was the case with this one also. He started loving her. He could not say, but he did love her a lot. They used to call their outings as date, the first one they spent visiting Qutub Minar, weird choice for a first date. She also seemed to love him. Arjun had already started dreaming about his future with her. He still hadn’t proposed her. That was the reason he was ready to give away such an opportunity. He was just waiting for the right time.

Thinking all this, he reached office. It was a holiday, who would be there in the office. No, its deadline, his whole team would be there, working day and night to deliver the project. He straight forward went to his manager’s cabin to say him the final ‘no’. Suddenly he met with Sunil, his cubicle mate.

“How are you buddy? How was your trip?” Sunil inquired.

”Trip was good. I hope we made this deal. Simpson will notify us within a week”, Arjun gloriously said.

”Ok,” Sunil smiled and went away.

Today, Sunil’s smile was somewhat mocking. “What has happened here in the last 2 weeks. Something changed? Am I looking stupid? May be I am too tired as I am coming from a long journey.”

Anyways, ignoring it, he proceeded to his manager’s cabin. The manager was sitting there, silent as ever. Looking at him, he asked him to sit. He was not looking happy. “What has happened here?” Arjun said to himself. Then he said, “Deepak, I know you want me to go, but I am staying here. I cannot go to California.”

“You need not.” He said with a cold voice. “Someone is already going there.”

“Ok. That’s good. By the way who?”

“Payal.”

Arjun thought he has misheard him, “Sorry, did you say Payal?”

“Yes, when you were away, she asked the Senior Manager assuring that you will not go and that she is willing to go there. They both are going there. They have developed good friendship within 2 weeks. It seems they are going to be in a relationship.”

There was acute silence in the room. Arjun was speechless to what he heard just now. He felt like crying out loud like a small kid but controlled himself, collected the courier and came back. What the hell had happened? Just last night Payal told him that he is doing the right thing following his heart. He was planning to propose her today with a beautiful diamond ring he ordered. He was ready to sacrifice all his dreams just to live a life with her. He couldn’t believe it was true.

He rushed to Payal’s house. Just as he was about to get out of the car, he saw a car stopping in front of Payal’s house. His senior manager and Payal came out of the car and went inside. They seemed drunk. May be they celebrated their chance to go onsite. Arjun did not have the heart to go inside. He came back. He was shocked to see how a girl he loved so much, was with someone else. Why she didnt tell him?

Next day, newspapers said that a software professional found dead. It seemed suicide as a suicide letter mentioned that a girl called Payal refused her love. A lot of alcohol found in his blood. He was too drunk. All the people of the office gave a last visit to his dead body and bade him goodbye. Payal was crying badly considering herself responsible for this all. But her colleagues consoled her and pursued her not to cancel her trip so that she could get out of this environment and forget these things.

Few days later, in a flight to California, Payal was waiting for someone. Suddenly Arjun appeared, “Sorry I got late. I had to buy these chocolates for you. You like them?”

“Ahan. I love whatever you give me.” She kissed him.

Then Payal said, “You still didn’t tell me, when you came back from Bangalore, why it took you a whole day to contact me and then a week to propose me? Well, I knew you would propose me. I could have married you in India only.”

“But it would have been rude after the accidental death of our senior manager. He was a nice man. Anyways, I wanted both of us to go to California. I am happy we are going together”, Arjun said.

Payal hugged him with great love. Arjun smiled thinking, “in love, its never too late.”

If we could be together again…

She was so different from other girls, so pretty & moreover, she was a magician, otherwise how could she get my phone. “You dropped it in the garden. I called you but you didn’t listen,” she offered me my phone & walked away without even waiting to accept my gratitude. Yes, this phone made me meet her, made me meet my life but also…

Many years ago, when my dad brought home a giant black gadget acclaiming it as a mobile phone, I was amazed to see something like this in my hands. He bought this phone for his business requirements & I always used to find a chance to just touch it & play the famous game of snake on it. Being a kid, I would get scolded a lot of times but I could not resist the charm of using it.

Life went on, I grew up from kid to teenager & got to go to the college. I was a good student, my dad was proud of me. I studied hard & got good marks. On the very first day of my college, my father gifted me a smartphone, something I had never imagined. May be he was happy to see my progress & hard work. This smartphone became everything in my life from then. It became the reason of most important happenings in my life.

I remember the day when SHE called me from behind. I was amazed to see my smartphone in her hands. She was so different from other girls, so pretty & moreover, she was a magician, otherwise how could she get my phone. “You dropped it in the garden. I called you but you didn’t listen,” she offered me my phone & walked away without even waiting to accept my gratitude. Yes, this phone made me meet her, made me meet my life but also…

I was attracted towards her. I took her pic secretly & kept looking at it for whole night. I decided to propose her. This phone got me find everything from her Facebook user id to her college student number. She was my classmate & it didn’t took me long to become her friend & express what I had in my heart for her. She liked me too. I was very happy that day. I almost cried out of happiness.

Time kept on flying & we completed half of our engineering. Those two years made us feel as if we are made for each other. She would call me in the morning to wake me up & always wrap a good night kiss in the good night call. She would keep messaging me all the day & I kept replying with all the joy & love. My smartphone had become her image for me when I was alone. I was everything for her apart from her sincerity in her work. She was a merit holder & deserved a good research based job, she had dreamt of.

She was perfect & I always felt lucky to have her in my life. At that time, I felt as if time is on my side & believe me, at such moment, you feel like you can do anything. I forgot that the flow of time is not constant.

It was that time that mobile internet & social networking got a lot of limelight. I had a phone which was much advanced of its time & thus I could use it all in my hands & carry in my pocket. Social networking started eating my time & mind. I spent more time on the FBook & less with her. She became busy in her preparation for competitive exams. She believed nothing more than me. So did I. Therefore we were still happy disregarding the comparably less time we were spending together.

But I was not that good. My smartphone had shown me new ways to enjoy life. One day I added a friend on a new social networking website when I found a girl in his friend list. She was good. I don’t know why, I was just tempted to ping her, & I did it. Surprisingly she replied immediately. She was good at flirting & I was good at social networking. Friends, I don’t know how I slipped. I exchanged phone number with her & actually started talking to her. I was the biggest fool at that time. Within a few days, my smartphone transformed into the image of this new friend. We soon started hanging out on weekends. I was feeling a bit guilty, but the temporary joy of that time made me forget everything.

Time went on. In my final year, I was no more a meritorious guy. I was a spoilt one, always fiddling with my smartphone. I used the phone to copy answers from the internet in the exams. I was happy to get good marks in my mid-session exams. But these fake tricks could not get me a good job in the campus placements. I & a few really useless guys got the worst job offer on campus. The girl I met on internet stopped replying my pings & broke contact.

Finally, it was the day when our final year result was to be announced. She suddenly grabbed me from behind flying with joy. She showed me her offer letter from the most reputed government run research lab of the country. She finally got one of the two things she had dreamt. And the other thing was me. She still loved me even after my failure in getting a good job. She believed in me so much that it was hard for me to stand on the ground in front of her. I immediately rushed to the washroom to hide my tears of guilt. Then I decided to tell her the truth, about how I broke her trust. I wanted to apologise for everything I ruined. I didn’t know if she would forgive me, I hoped she would.

When I got back, she was in tears holding my smartphone. When going to the washroom, I left my smartphone being signed in various social networking websites. She was not a suspicious kind of girl to check my chat histories & thats why I never hid my phone from her. But today, when she was waiting for me to come back from washroom, she just opened the “images” folder & was stunned to see my picnic pics with that internet girl in some very intimate poses. Then she had opened my chats & got to know everything.

I ruined her day, broke her heart. She was crying like a small child. I tried to hold her but she stared at me with helplessness & feeling of being cheated in her eyes. I can never forget those flooded eyes in my life. She left immediately to never come back. I kept watching her going, holding my smartphone still showing a ping from one of my friends. I clicked it to open. It said, “You got caught on a CCTV camera fitted in the examination room while cheating from your mobile phone & thus your scores are suspended. You failed. Your job is also gone.” I dropped down on my knees, crying. Yes, I failed. I failed my love who was the most precious gift I could ever get in my life. I failed my dad who would curse himself for the day he gifted me this smartphone. And I would curse myself for the day I started misusing it. It gave me everything when I used it wisely & took everything when I didn’t.


Today, I have repeated my final year & searching for a job in the open market. I am sitting, still holding the same smartphone. But I am not angry to look at it for what I made my life misusing it. The mirror in front of my chair is showing the sad smile on my face with a little shine of hope in my eyes.

“Next,” the receptionist called. It is my turn. I looked at the big banner in front of me which said “Futuristic Smartphone Designers”. I have to go in to get this job by any means. I have come here with a determination, with a wish to add a feature to my smartphone.

I wished for long to have a feature in my smartphone that can restore time. What if I could set the time back to the second year of my college life in my smartphone & can reach that time. I would fix all the things I have broken.

I know you are laughing at me thinking that how can I make a phone that can restore time. But I know I can. You can call me crazy or mad, just like all the other people here, especially those in the white coats. They are bad people. Earlier, they used to give me electric shocks. But when I complained my dad, he got me these people who make smartphones. I give an interview daily, but they reject me. I don’t know why even after I put all my efforts, I always fail. I suspect the main interviewer. His face looks like the man in white coat who earlier gave me shocks. And also that receptionist, she sometimes dress up like a nurse. Freak, she is.

Anyways, I have to go inside now. Time for the interview & this time I am sure to get the job & then I will add my dream feature to my smartphone. Everything will be fine then.